|
SubscriptionsSites I Read
|
|
|
|
| do you ever start thinking about every little insignificant thing that has happened until you realize that you're utterly alone?
careless. care less. i could care less. | | |
| i don't make sense anymore. my thoughts are not structured, orderly. if i knew what to say, i would write it. if i could decipher my own feelings, i would have something to feel. it's more than complicated to explain the complication. nothing is more frustrating. | | |
| i don't know if you've died or vanished, changed or morphed. but the woman that i grew up with is anywhere but here. father must have been right in leaving because i honestly can't fathom what is so appealing about your company.
nothing's ever good enough. and i'm never good enough.
to favor a child is one thing. to favor a child that has fucked you over, spent your money, done illegal drugs, and defaced your vehicles...is something entirely different.
if you hate violence so much, why are you just like him? why do you spit when you talk and why do you put your hands on me?
i will never understand you.
and i no longer care to. | | |
| this has been gone for far too long. next to you, my friendship with her meant nothing. that's why i sat on the phone with you that night, as you poured your heart into an attentive ear and cried inconspicuously on the phone. i sat there in her recliner as she jabbered away about school and her exboyfriend to her new football player. while you fell to pieces, she moved on.
but i promised you then and there that i wouldn't let you get off that phone and crumble away by yourself. if anything, i'd be there crumbling with you. and we could share those horrific secrets and find meaning in such meaningless pain.
i swear after that i thought you were mine. but still you tried to find something that made more sense to you than i did. something more than nerdy girl meets troubled boy. | | |
| The sky was a Wintery dark. It was this time of night that I would see you at all through the haze. With that blanket of dusk that blinded me, I was safe.
I took you to a park that I spent endless nights at before as a child. Watching and following some boy like he was all there is, anywhere to me. And we swung on the swingset just like those children we used to be except you were motionless and I was alive. The cold wind hit my face and bit at my cheeks but I didn't care how I looked when it was over. All I cared about was your expressions. Something was sad in them.
But you told me you were leaving and that you'd be home soon. Home soon? From where? From her? I couldn't believe any of it. I guess I just didn't want to.
But when I wanted to call you on the weekends, I didn't. I knew you were there, drugged up with a whore. That's all it was, and it was more than enough to kill me. | | |
|
